TODAY STINKS!!!!!

     We've all had those days, you know, when you drag yourself out of bed, and you just know the day is not going to start out wonderfully.  
     I slept through the night last night, a thrilling feat in itself.  No middle of the night tossing and turning, no potty break at 2 am.  Just sound restful sleep.  But I thought maybe because of it, because of that long peaceful sleep, I had morning mouth.  Not your typical morning mouth, but the kind that makes you wonder what crawled into your mouth during the night and died there. 
     I cupped my hands and breathed into them, I could smell nothing.  I tried a second time.  Whew, it wasn't me.  When I removed my hands from my mouth the smell was back.  Must be my hubby, he'd been ill the day before so it must be the residue from a bacterial infection.  Yep, that had to be it.  Poor guy.
    I slipped out of bed and went out into the hall and the smell was worse.  I looked back at him sleeping peacefully, his face toward the wall that leads toward the door, "Wow, he must really be breathing hard to send the smell all the way out to the hall," I thought.  
     I gently woke him for work but when he spoke the smell was not there.  I looked at him, looked toward the hall, sucked in a deep breath and it hit me.  The smell and the realization of what I was smelling. 
     I raced up the stairs, with each step the smell intensified.  I met the cat on the stairs racing down as quickly as her fat little legs would carry her.  She was running from the smell, and I was foolishly walking toward it.  
    At the top of the stairs, you know the spot where odors linger and heat rises, I wanted to turn back.  My eyes began to water, my stomach began to churn.  I needed to vomit, but I had to be certain.
     I looked for my three westies who generally greet me in the dining room each morning, begging for their morning cookies from the cookie jar in the kitchen.  They were missing.  My heart sank.  
     Should I run down and get my hubby to help, I knew deep in my ever-churning gut what must've happened to them during the night.  That peaceful, sleep through until morning, night. 
     As I wandered through the remainder of the house, my head swirled, my stomach churned, beads of sweat appeared on my forehead, I felt dizzy, and the urge to vomit mounted.  
    Finally, the dogs heard my footsteps, they burst into the house through the doggie door, first happy to see me, and then they dropped to the floor in front of me and scooted their faces all around the room.  They rolled and scooted on the carpet, wiping their faces as hard as they could.  My dogs are mud puppies, they were not trying to impress me by cleaning their faces before breakfast.
    The stench grew stronger,  I leaned onto the table for support, I needed to finish the search.  My eyes burned, my head ached.  I had to step outside, forty degrees or not, I had to search the darkness of our yard.  
    On went the yard lights, and by that time my hubby had appeared behind me with a flashlight.  He was on the trail as well.  A quick scan of the yard revealed no sign of an intruder, no sign except a faint odor.  
    Back inside the house, the smell was strong, the dogs were still wiping their faces all over the carpet.  
    Yep, for those of you who live in the country like us, you guessed it.  They found their first skunk!!  It had to be a young one who slipped into our fenced yard, and my three westies had to be certain it didn't stay.  
     We had to force ourselves to eat breakfast in the stench, then gather the dogs for a quick face trim and washing.  Fortunately, I was way behind schedule for grooming them and most of the hair I could cut away.  We shampooed their faces, and had the bottle of Skunk Off set out in case the trim and rinse didn't work.  
    They smell pretty good now.  You have to put your face into theirs to smell the remnants of the foul mist that landed on their coats.  But, my carpet!!!  Gag, choke, sputter, ewwww.....they managed to wipe the fresh skunk oil into the fibers of the carpet.  
     I quickly lit scented candles that are clashing with the incense burning throughout the room.  I had all the windows and doors open until I could no longer feel my fingers and toes.  
     I have to bundle up and step outside to get away from the pungent fragrance emanating from the carpet with each  step.  
As we all know, skunk oil is permanent in fabric.  But it's okay to toss out a pair of jeans, or a pair of shoes or even a complete outfit when the oil has clung to them, but two rooms of carpet???  I haven't forced myself to smell the dining room chairs yet.  I'm certain they probably climbed up onto them for naps during the night like they always do.  
    We had planned to take a two-week break from work.  Two weeks to sit back, watch movies and enjoy ourselves.  We had also planned to remove our carpet and put in hardwood floors in a couple of  years, I repeat in a couple of years.  Plans change, that's to be expected.  
    We vowed to give it twenty-four hours to see if the smell dissipates on its own.  To be certain, we'll have to invite someone over to smell our house.  The one thing about skunk smell is when you live with it for a few hours, it seems to disappear.  Well, it only disappears if your the one wearing it.  To everyone else you smell like a skunk!
     At the end of our twenty four hours, the first day of our vacation, we may be pulling up carpet and spending time putting in a new floor.  Wish us luck, and if you pass us on the street, don't be polite, let us know if you smelled us before you saw us, that's what friends are for.