Thursday, June 16, 2011


In this day and age of vampires and werewolves I'll bet none of you have heard of vampire moths.  Well, actually around here they're called millers and they don't draw blood but they poop orange toxic poop that can't be washed off of most things, causing nice staining--hair dye should be so long lasting.  

So what are they?  Along about May in my area, when the days begin to warm, you'll notice a moth fluttering around a light.  The next day, there are four, then the next day ten and so it goes for about two weeks.  Then the invasion is in full force.

They can slip into every crack and crevice, even those that appear impossible to pass through.  They hide during the day and come out by night, not to draw your blood but to make your life miserable.  

Open your refrigerator and you'll see one staggering across the shelf, too cold to fly.  Try stirring your scrambled eggs in the morning and have one who hasn't yet found his daytime hiding place land smack dab in the middle of your bubbling eggs.  You know that glass of water you put on your nightstand next to your bed before you go to sleep?  Forget it.  One of my neighbors swallowed one that was swimming laps in his glass.

Our housecat used to catch and eat them, but you know what happens when you've had too much of a good thing.  She won't even look at them now.   

One May, we had family visiting from the city.  They didn't know to walk through the house in total darkness during the end of May.  They didn't know what happens when you turn on the lights and leave the room.  But they found out.  We were all in the family room when we heard the scream.  We found one of the children plastered to the wall with hundreds....yes, I said hundreds of these vampire moths fluttering around the light, bouncing off the ceiling dropping to the floor and crawling up the walls.  

"Grab the vacuum," I yelled.  "Turn off every light in the house except this room."  My son and husband started herding those who had made their escape to the other parts of the house, back toward the light where we listened to the ca-thud, ca-thud sound as they were sucked into the vaccum.  

Last year when my granddaughter, Lexi, came for her month of staying with Nana and Gramps, she called out for us each time she was in the same room with one.  At first she was too frightened to even suck them up with the vacuum.  Then she grew brave enough to seek them out with a fly swatter in hand.  By the end of the two week invasion, she would grab them with her bare hands and toss them outdoors or flush them.  She became known as the Lexinator.  

 Two weeks ago they were crawling on our television screen while we watched the actors with large moths crawling over their faces, last week as the numbers were diminishing I felt one in bed with us.  This week you might see one or two still hanging around.  

But it's over, we won again this year....or did we?  How many months will it take me to find and remove all the little orange spots or have to repaint a room because they stained the paint beyond the ability to clean?  So if anyone can tell me the purpose of those vile little vampire millers please let me know.   I'm sure there has to be some way I can write them into one of my mysteries or thrillers in a deadly sort of way......hmmmm....maybe they do have a purpose.